Guess Who?
by HeiHeiTstesetyun
Summary: Eileen has a crush; as does Alexianos. Neither of them want to confess who their beloved is, and a guessing game ensues as the two reflect on the significance of friendship, love, and gasp! even sex. Male!ArmeniaXFem!Scotland; High School AU. :D


Guess Who?

"Are your parents really cool with me sleeping over?" Alexianos laid his sleeping bag next to Eileen's- his demure, dark green one next to her lime-colored sack.

"Considerin' ye practically live at our house, anyhow, then yes."

Alex grinned. "So, you didn't even ask them."

Eileen smiled mischievously. "What they don't know can't hurt 'em. But even if they _were_ here tonight, they'd know that we wouldn't be touchin'. Do ye want some food? I'm feelin' peckish."

"Same. What do you know how to cook?"

The Scottish girl laughed. "Ye mean besides cereal? We really don't have much in the house right now. Maybe there's some pasta in a box…"

"Want me to make you some pasta?"

She shrugged. "I'd rather have Kashi."

"Kashi it is, then." The dark-haired teen made his way into the stone-tiled kitchen and plucked two Iittala bowls from a cupboard. Eileen found the box of "Go-Lean Crunch" and milk, and she set them next to the bowls while Alexianos brought in the spoons.

The two poured their cereal and milk before sitting down at a circular oak table with their "meal."

"Is this enough for ye?" Eileen asked. "I bought Pop-Tarts the other day, but I have them hidden in my room."

"Hidden in your room?" Alex grinned. "Why?"

"Ye know how my mom gets about calories. I'd be eatin' honey Cheerios instead of Kashi, otherwise. But if her gettin' lean cereal means she caves and buys cupcakes four times a week, I'm okay with that." The red-head chuckled.

"I think this is good for me for now. Maybe if I'm hungry later, I can eat one in your room."

"Sure thing. So," Eileen, though hunched over her bowl, raised her eyes, "How are ye feelin'?"

"You mean about the break-up? This will sound terrible, but I don't really care. It's not that I don't care about Tino- he's a great friend, and of course I want him to be happy, but I think that neither of us felt any romantic connection. We both thought: 'This is my best friend, so I should be able to grow to love him.' But then that just made everything awkward. We're happier without the pressure." He sighed. "And, truth to be told, we both were doing this for ulterior motives. We made a deal to try it out, but we were also up-front about the fact that we both liked other people, as well. He _really_ likes Antonio, so we both figured it was best to break up. And I started to care about someone a lot, as well, so…yeah, heh."

"Well, at least ye two were able to work it more like a business negotiation than a relationship. But ye're being vague- who's this 'someone' that ye like? Was he in any of our classes last year? Maybe ye'll have him in a class when school starts up again."

"You assume I like a guy." Alexianos smirked, chomping on another spoonful of Kashi. "Wow, I could break my teeth on this stuff…"

"I know, it's solid! And anyhow, I apologize." Eileen grinned. "You did like Ivana for two years, after all."

He laughed. "Oh lord, please don't remind me of that."

"We've all had bad crushes! Mine was when I liked Arthur…'fore I found out that he was secretly datin' my brother, of course."

"Where is Ian, by the way?"

"He should be comin' home soon. He texted me about ten minutes ago sayin' he was headin' back. I told him that you're here and that I'll give him some cereal if he keeps quiet about it."

"Clever bribe," Alex smiled teasingly.

"Oh, hush, it was that or Pop-tarts. Anyhow, who's this lucky lady, then, hm?"

"I didn't say I liked a girl, either. Maybe I like a hermaphrodite."

"Uh-huh, or maybe you like Sadik."

Alex laughed so hard that milk nearly came out of his nose. "You're the only person that would tease me about that, Eileen."

"I wouldn't mind me some Sadik! You have to admit, he's a cutie."

"Of course he is. But I didn't even tell my parents about Tino. How shocked do you think they'd be if I told them I was dating a Turkish guy?"

Eileen mulled this over. "Ye've a point. Oh, come on, can ye give me a hint? I'm a stereotypical girl in some ways, and I like talking about crushes."

"Nuh-uh." Alex grinned at shook his head. "Not until you give me a hint about who you like."

"Are ye still botherin' me about that?" Eileen laughed. "I mentioned that six months ago."

"I know, but you never told me."

"Well, that's because it's not very likely that I'd get with him."

Alex frowned, unsettled by her self-deprecating commentary. "Why do you say that?"

"I've never dated before. He was with someone at the time. I'm always studyin' or workin' or doin' things for choir. I'm a virgin, and I'm pretty sure he isn't. Plus, I don't think he'd want to wait as long as I want to for sex…I would just rather not mention something that wasn't possible."

"Okay, for one thing, I'm pretty sure that fact that you're independent and have your own life would make you _more_ attractive to any sane guy. You make time for your friends, after all. And the fact that you've never dated or had sex before isn't important. You have to start somewhere, and you're a really sweet girl, Eil. If a guy isn't willing to wait for a nice girl like you, then he isn't worth your time. How long are you thinking of waiting, by the way?"

"Ye're goin' to laugh at me. It's not for religious reasons, mind ye. I mean, when I was little, of course I was told in church to wait an' such. But when I challenged that tenant, I just figured that, for my personality, I'd be happiest if I'm only with one person like that…And plus, I don't want to get pregnant before I'm ready, and I worry that birth control might fail me."

"So marriage?"

"Aye." She blushed, not used to having such a candid conversation with Alex. Sure, the two had been friends ever since Eileen had moved from Scotland to Glendale, but their talks tended to be pretty clean.

Alexianos smiled gently. "I wouldn't laugh at that. I think it's smart that you know what you want out of a relationship, sexually. A lot of people aren't like that. And most decent guys that know you well enough wouldn't mind marrying you, first."

"Ye're sweet, Alex."

"I mean it, though. You know, Tino wanted to try some…things when we were together, but I turned him down. I just wasn't in love with him. Plus, I think it's a little silly at this age. He's not even 17 yet, and I just turned it."

"Are you going to wait until you're in college?"

"At least. This will sound cheap, but sex is expensive, and I don't want to do it with just anybody. I wouldn't care if I dated someone that wanted to wait until they were married. It's not the most important thing."

"Ye're a rare guy." Eileen grinned.

"There are plenty of us out there- we just don't always speak our true minds on it. There's such a double standard that a man has to want lots of sex while a woman can't want it at all. That's so stupid- almost everybody wants sex, but not everyone wants it with just anyone."

"I agree with that! I read all these magazines that compare the number of times a day a woman thinks about sex compared to the times a day that a guy thinks about it, and I feel like I'm way out of the normal range! I can't go an hour without thinkin' about it, and that's not an exaggeration."

"The same with me!" The friends chuckled, and Alex continued. "See? Both men and women want sex. Sure, they might think about it differently in some senses, but there definitely is an overlap. I think that both men and women want love, too. It drives me crazy that people assume that that no guy wants to be in a steady relationship when they're young."

"Yes! Or that every woman wants to date around and be flattered by strangers. I wouldn't date anyone that wasn't my friend."

"You know, me neither. I-"

The front door unlatched, and Ian dropped his keys into a bowl on the counter. He made his way into the kitchen, smiling at his sister and her friend.

"Hiya, Alex. How are ye?"

Alexianos blushed, as though he were caught in some unspeakable act. "Good, thanks. How about you?"

"I'm just fine. Don't worry- I know ye an' Eil won't be doin' anythin'. I'm gonna go to bed."

"See ya, Ian!" Eileen called to her brother, smiling fondly.

"See ya, Eil. Ye, too, Alex."

After the Scotsman retired to his room upstairs, the friends continued to chat.

"So, are you going to give me a hint about this guy, now?" Alex winked a mirthful, dark eye. Eileen's face flushed pink.

"I suppose I can…Hmm…well, he's Armenian."

Alexianos laughed. "Eil, we live in Glendale! That's about 50% of the guys here."

"Well, ye told me to give you a hint, so I did." She winked back facetiously. "Now, your turn."

"All right. I like a girl."

"I knew it!"

"She's a little bit of a tom-boy, I have to say. But she's also effeminate in that sweet, friendly sort of way. I like that about her."

"Of course ye do. I couldn't see you with a prissy girl."

"Me neither. But I gave you a lot of hints, so now it's your turn."

"Okay. Well, he's a really nice guy. He's sensitive and cares about people's feelings, but he isn't insecure. He knows himself, and because of that, he builds other people up."

"He sounds like a good person."

Eileen smiled. "I think so, too."

"Okay, so this girl? She's _so_ smart. Well, she hates math, but she's good at it. She's taking four AP classes next year."

"That sounds like most girls in the honors classes, but it's a vital hint, nonetheless. Now, this boy. He has black hair."

"Persian-Armenian?"

"No, just Armenian-Armenian. Maybe he has some Persian background, somewhere, and maybe some Russian as well."

"Does he look like me?"

"I don't know. That's not one of my hints."

"You're too cruel." Alexianos smirked. "This girl has multi-colored eyes."

"What colors?"

"They're mostly blue, but they sometimes look grey or green. She's very pretty."

"A white girl, hm?"

"She could wear color contacts."

"You also said she could be a hermaphrodite. Anyhow, this boy is only a little bit taller than me. I'll give you a range- 5'8'' to 5'10''."

The five-foot-eight teenager ruminated on this. "I still have no idea who this guy is. Anyway, the girl I like is really musical. She has a beautiful voice and she plays a few different instruments."

"Which ones?"

Alex winked. "Not telling."

"Okay. My crush is really smart. He got a 4.67 GPA last semester."

"This guy sounds right for you, then. This girl has hair that isn't dark."

"So it's either red, auburn, or blond?"

"Yes. Do you have any ideas?"

"She could be a girl in choir- Emily?"

"Nope," Alexianos shook his head. "Keep guessing."

"Okay. Well, the guy I like is in band and orchestra."

"Seriously? I probably know him."

"I think ye do."

"Umm…Arthur? Not the English one that was in AP chem with us- the Armenian one."

"Nope. I don't think I even know who he is…"

"He was in Spanish three, I think."

"Oh! The quiet one? No, not him. No-o-o-o-ot him. He has a full beard, Alex!"

"So does your brother."

"Please tell me you don't think I look for guys with similar traits to my brother."

"I don't think that," Alexianos laughed, "I promise. Anyhow, the girl I like was born in another country."

"Oh my God- do ya still like Ivana?"

"Nooo, no! Not Ivana."

"Phew, okay. Well…the guy I like looks really good in green."

Alexianos smiled. "Well, of course. Green is pretty much the best color that ever existed. The girl I like wears blue and brown a lot."

"I have no idea who that is…The guy I like is a runner."

"On the track team?"

"Nope."

"Hmm…the girl I like cycles."

"And she's in choir?"

"I never said that."

"Mm. The guy I like once got pants-ed in junior high."

"Seriously? Woah, so did I."

"I feel bad for poor junior-high boys. They get teased so much."

"Yeah…the girl I like was teased when she was a little kid."

"Aw, why?"

"I can only guess that she was much smarter than everyone else, which makes her a little quirky. I like quirkiness. Plus, she's very empathetic, and some mean little kids probably took that as a sign of weakness."

"That makes sense. The guy I like has a really big nose."

"Well, he's Armenian…Oh, don't look at me like that. I can say that about my own people. This girl has lots of freckles."

"What country was she from?"

Alexianos poured some more cereal into his bowl. "Not telling."

"Can I take a guess?"

"Of course."

"Pamela."

"Nope."

"Hmm…well, this boy gets panic attacks."

Alexianos glanced up. "Really?"

"It's not severe, and come on, considering that we're in AP classes that isn't much of a hint."

"It's substantial…the girl I like has OCD."

"About what?"

"It's more 'O' than 'C,' but she has to take perfect notes in class. I would know- I borrow her notes sometimes. Also, she gets intrusive thoughts. She can't watch gory movies because of it."

"Well, that's interestin'…"

"The boy I like wants to go to UCLA."

Alex cocked his head to the side and glanced upwards. "Huh…Okay, the girl I like also wants to go to UCLA."

Eileen grinned hopefully. "This boy is amazin'. He makes me happier than anyone else could. He's funny and smart and interestin' and nice and handsome. He's a good friend."

"This girl is the first person I pray for in the morning. She cracks me up. She says really weird things. She's nice to people, even when they hurt her- something I wish she'd do less of, because I worry about her getting hurt, but it's a part of her nonetheless. She's beautiful, and I love her." Alexianos smiled fondly at Eileen.

"This boy has a perpetual bed-head and a tiny-bit of an overbite- because he forgets to wear his retainer- and a good heart. He goes to church every Sunday, but he loves learnin' about every religion that exists. He once made me pee my pants laughin' because he orders food in restaurants with a fake French accent and calls the waiter 'garcon.' We were kicked outta that restaurant. He makes me wait before I go into his room because he has to pick his boxers up off the floor. He likes boys, too. I love this boy, and I'm really jealous of Tino Väinämöinen."

"Six months ago, I was really jealous of this girl's anonymous crush."

"And now you know who he is," Eileen said softly, an excited smile pulling across her face.

"Yes. Eil, can I kiss you?"

"That depends. Do ya still think I'm a hermaphrodite? 'Cause I'm not. I've a penis…kidding!" She laughed, pulling Alexianos into a hug. "Of course ye can."

Alex pecked her cheek quickly and she held his hand in hers. "I really should have told you before."

"I should have told ye, too. Ye always know how to make me smile, Alex- even when I'm stressed because my notes aren't perfect enough." She winked.

"That actually reminds me of something. When I feel a panic attack coming on, it's usually right before a test or an important performance. When people get panic attacks, they're supposed to think of something that relaxes them- something that makes them calm and happy. A lot of people think of places in nature because they're soothing. Well…I think of you."

"Aww!" Eileen grinned. "That's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. I'm too lucky to know a nice guy like ye, Alex. I wanna go out with ya."

"I want to go out with you, too. I want to be your boyfriend."

"I wanna be yer girlfriend. After all, ye can't order in a French accent alone at a table for two, can ye?"

…

A/N: Just when you thought I couldn't write anything more crack-y than ArmFin: ArmFem!Scot! :D What's my justification for this pairing? Scotland is the only place within the UK that acknowledges the Ottoman genocides against the Armenians. I won't explain the genocides here, as I get too impassioned about the atrocities that happened, but if you look them up you'll find plenty of information. Also, I just think that Eileen and Alex would be really cute together. I always write them as friends in my stories, so why not make them a couple? :)


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